tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40920606732655953902024-03-08T09:33:55.134-08:00Living With TeenagersDealing with the highs and the lows of family life can be a challenge. This blog hopes to offer practical help with a few laughs thrown in for good measure.Joanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-37708533428888980752013-06-28T06:09:00.000-07:002013-06-28T06:09:24.558-07:00Teenagers and Parents - How Parents Can Effectively Connect With Teens<div id="article-content">
I truly enjoy speaking with Teenagers. For some reason, I connect with teens... probably because I'm a big kid myself. I understand that most teenagers have 2 distinct versions of themselves. The first version can be challenging. This teenager thinks he or she knows it all and will say or do anything to be "cool!" That's right! This teenage version is only interested in not showing his or her vulnerability. This can be frustrating to an adult!<br />
But understand this, the other version of that exact same teenager needs you! He or she has goals, dreams, and most importantly, they are scared to death! It's our jobs as adults to connect with teens! Not make them... connect with us!<br />
How do you do that?<br />
1. Show up! <br />It's difficult to connect with anyone if you're never around. Adults are very busy and can't be everywhere. But schedule the time. In the past because of work, there were times I had to miss my son's practice or soccer game. But I noticed when I scheduled a future game and put it on my calendar, I would not break it! I was there!<br />
2. Create an atmosphere of unconditional love! <br />Most teens believe they are only loved if they get good grades, if they do their chores, if they make the team. Obviously, getting good grades and doing chores is part of teenage life. But don't judge their overall worth if they forget to take out the trash. Teenagers want unconditional love! Yes, you have to be their parent... but you should also be their biggest fan!<br />
3. Speak to teens with respect! <br />I know it can be challenging but teenagers are people. And no one (teenager or adult) likes to be barked at and spoken to like they are complete idiots! After a long day at work, most adults come home and have little patience. (I understand this because I have two kids myself.) But try to be patient, slow down and watch your tone!<br />
4. Teen issues are important! <br />Teen issues may seem silly to us, but they really matters to them! Let them express their feelings! Adults verbally say, "we care about teen issues." But we show teens that we don't care by interrupting and not letting them talk, rolling our eyes, or multitasking while their talking. When adults do this, teens feel as if they're not being heard and will slowly start to withdraw. Months later, you'll wonder why your son or daughter never opens up to you!<br />
You'd be surprised how these simple actions make a world of difference between teenagers and parents. Please understand: I am not implying that we don't have discipline at home or school. Teenagers will run all over you if they don't sense structure and boundaries. I'm simply stating that adults need to "step up" and make more of an effort to connect with teenagers. I know you may not like their music, but make an effort to listen to a few tunes. You would be surprised how teens react when they think you know or have at least listened to their music. Ask their opinion on certain topics and engage with them on activities.<br />
Don't forget, you were a teenager too! Do you remember how you felt about adults? Today's teen feels the exact same way!</div>
<div id="article-resource">
Empower your teen with Darryl's new book: Be Extraordinary - The Teenager's Roadmap to Success! Log onto: <a href="http://www.thestudentmotivator.com/" target="_new">http://www.thestudentmotivator.com</a></div>
Article Source: <a href="http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Darryl_L._Ross">http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Darryl_L._Ross</a><br />
<br /><br />Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7448177Joanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-482249849523833662013-06-26T04:25:00.001-07:002013-06-26T04:25:42.739-07:00Motivating My Teenaged Son In SchoolSo, a few days ago I mentioned about promoting responsibility with the kids, that got me to thinking about motivation. I have recently noticed that Beth, the oldest is UBER motivated, she is facing a long summer, post A level exams and within the first week she had 2 new jobs, to add to her <a href="http://tbsahblog.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Body Shop At Home </a> business and her babysitting for us. She is now working at the local pub and has 3 days a week doing admin for my husband. Brilliant!!!
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However her younger brother Tom, is no where near as motivated and it has got me to thinking, why? Is there anything I have done differently with him than I did with Beth and can I do anything, other than nag, to increase his motivation? So I did some research and overwhelmingly I was put to shame!
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When Beth started secondary school, <a href="http://www.trentva.org.uk/" target="_blank">Trent Valley Academy</a> she attended the school where I worked as a teaching assistant and later as a cover supervisor (covering lessons in teachers absence, it saves the school getting supply staff and keeps better consistency for the kids),<a href="http://www.trentva.org.uk/"></a> therefore I was really involved with all her teachers and very occasionally even covered some of her lessons or form times. I knew all her friends and was involved with after school activities and school trips. I could join in with conversations better because I knew who she was talking about and I could help her better with what her teachers expected because I knew them well too. Beth had a really good relationship with most of her teachers and I think that was partly because they knew her outside of lessons as well, through me. I'm not saying Beth did so well at school because of me, not at all, she worked extremely hard and has a very bubbly personality so I think she would have done well wherever she went, but I do think my active involvement in her school had an impact. School and home were indelibly connected, they were unavoidably linked for her. My friends were her teachers! Poor thing!
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I left my job in October 2009 and now have no role in education so am probably a bit out of touch now and any way Tom went to a different school. He attends the local Grammar school <a href="http://www.qehs.lincs.sch.uk/" target="_blank">Queen Elizabeth's High School</a> and I have got to admit, I have always found it a bit intimidating. Not just his school but Grammar in general. When I was a kid only the posh ones went to Grammar and they always thought they were better than us "Normal" kids, or so we thought at the time! In hind sight I'm sure they thought we had a problem with them, anyhow, we didn't really mix much and now my boy goes to one!
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Tom wanted to try for the entry exam and to be honest I thought it was a good idea. He was a big fish in a small pond at his primary school, <a href="http://www.evertonprimary.co.uk/" target="_blank">Everton Primary School </a> which had served him well for his early education, it was a lovely village school and Tom excelled there. He's a bit of a cheeky chappy, sometimes a bit of a clown and he got on famously with his teachers and loved to please them but I was a bit concerned he might be a bit easily led down the silly road at secondary with much bigger classes and less time for the teachers to connect with their pupils. I felt he would thrive with the firmer hand of a Grammar. <br />
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I cannot deny they have done a pretty good job of keeping him on track, he has had a few detentions but just for calling out and being a bit silly, not for anything major, and that's exactly what I wanted from the school. A firm hand. He hasn't fallen in with a "bad crowd", he's just a little exuberant sometimes! But he seems to just cruse through, getting away with the minimum of effort in most of his classes. Most of his reports come back saying he sometimes lacks focus and could excel in the subjects if he focused more, he's a bright boy and I worry he's wasting his talents.
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So what can I do to give him a boost???<br />
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So far I have had very little involvement with school and Tom is in year 9, except parent evenings I've not been there. I wouldn't recognise his teachers if I passed them in the street and I have left the discipline to them, although I have always backed them up when he has come and complained about one teacher or another. I realise now this is not good enough. I may not work in Tom's school but that doesn't mean I should avoid it all together. I<span style="color: red;"> know</span> that pupil achievement improves when their parents become involved in their work ( I don't mean doing it for them, I mean being interested in what they are doing), I <span style="color: red;">know</span> teachers really appreciate parents being involved and showing an interest, I <span style="color: red;">know</span> that being involved actively with school, PTA, extra curricular activities, volunteering to help out on trips etc. all promote a positive response to school within our children,<span style="color: blue;"> so</span> <span style="color: blue;">why have I not done it?</span> <br />
I can only think it goes back to those childhood prejudices and fears about not being good enough for Grammar.
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Tom will be starting his GCSE courses in September and I really don't want him to miss this opportunity to get the best start to his career path that he can. I can't do it all for him, he has to take some responsibility for his work, grades and behaviour but because he gets good marks just by coasting along I think he doesn't put maximum effort in, he doesn't see the point. Maybe, just maybe if I get <span style="color: blue;">a little more involved with school</span><span style="color: blue;">, a little more familiar with his teachers</span> and<span style="color: blue;"> a little more</span> <span style="color: blue;">interested in his work,</span> maybe if I <span style="color: red;">stop </span><span style="color: red;">accepting</span> "Fine" as the answer to "Have you had a good day" and<span style="color: red;"> stop</span> <span style="color: red;">accepting</span> "No we didn't get any" as the response to "Have you any homework?", maybe if I <span style="color: blue;">start</span><span style="color: blue;"> asking</span> "What did you enjoy most about you lessons today?" and " Can I see what you did today/" and "You need to do your homework please" maybe if I start <span style="color: blue;">calling his form tutor</span> once a term to see how she thinks he's got on and maybe if I actually <span style="color: blue;">go to some school events</span>, even if Tom isn't involved, maybe, just maybe, he'll get a bit more motivated because if there is anything Tom likes it is to please people.
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I feel a bit cross with myself that I have just let him coast along and gradually loose his motivation but I hope that with a little more involvement from home he too will excel in his GCSE exams.<br />
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Here's hoping!
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Joanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-41818976607406012152013-06-21T06:53:00.000-07:002013-06-21T06:53:57.183-07:00TEENAGERS AND RESPONSIBILITYYesterday I noticed that our German Shepherd dog Polly had been worrying at her paw and had licked/nibbled all the hair off one toe. It looked weird. I needed to take her to the vets as she was due her vaccinations any way so I got on the phone and made the appointment. The only time they had left for today (Friday) was 08.30. I really wanted her seen in case she made it more sore during the weekend and she wouldn't stay still for me to examine it, but what was I going to do? I needed to get Zach, my 21 month old to nursery for 09.00. The vet practice and Nursery are in different directions, I'm good at multitasking on the whole but splitting myself in two was an impossibility even for me!
Worry not mother....
Beth, my 18 year old, stepped in. she heard me on the phone, knew the problem and said she would take Zach, problem solved.
I know I am extremely lucky having Beth at home to help me out in these circumstances, and I know I'll miss her help if she does decide to go to university but I also know there are so many 18 year olds who absolutely could not be trusted to get their baby brother to nursery on time in the morning, so many who probably wouldn't care if they got to nursery or not.
So what makes Beth different?
Well, I'm afraid I'm taking most of the credit for it! I won't claim it all, some others may have had a bit of in-put, and some of the credit I guess should go to nature, however, I have always believed children respond brilliantly to being given responsibilities and praise. Don't get me wrong, we're not constantly barking orders at our kids but we do encourage them to take an active role in the home. They have their meals prepared and laid out for them and a way of showing they appreciate this is for them to help with the washing up. They each have their own room which is nicely decorated in their choice of theme and furnished with their choice of furniture, they should keep them tidy so it's easy for me to flick a duster over and run the vacuum round, assuming they want a clean space. Their clothes are washed and ironed for them so they are expected to put them away neatly. We don't think this is too much to ask.
As they have got older and so want some of their own cash we have agreed to give them more jobs and pay them for those jobs, earning their pocket money, if you like.
Picking up after the dog every day earns you £10 a month but it has to be done every day - they hate that job!
Ironing earns you £15 a full basket - I hate that job!
Cleaning the truck inside and out earns you £10, it's a big filthy truck,
Doing the clothes washing, drying and distributing earns you £10 a month.
Babysitting earns £4 per hour.
At one point Beth was getting £40 a month from these extras, as well as her babysitting when we managed an evening out and her regular hours waitressing at the local pub. Minted!
However, she was not good at staying on top of the washing so I claimed that back and the poo picking didn't get done very much so I got that back too, but she has ironed a basket of clothes for me this week and cleaned the bathroom and vacuumed upstairs, so we owe her!
Tom, my middle one, aged 14, hasn't yet got into the swing of these cash rich extras but is slowly beginning to show an interest. He isn't as bothered about his bedroom being clean so it's not left as tidy as my husband, Kieran, might like it to be, but it's not bad for a 14 year old boy, it smells sweet and we can usually see the floor! He grumbles about the washing up, but he does it and his homework is always done. Eventually.
Whenever the kids have done these things for us, even if they are jobs they have to do we say "Thanks", we let them know it's appreciated and we find that then they are more happy to help next time.
We believe they are learning what goes into making and keeping a home, they begin to appreciate what they have got when they have earned it and are more able to budget for themselves.
They are more likely to offer to help, like Beth this morning taking Zach to nursery for me, because they have more of an understanding of how the cogs all have to work in unison to keep things ticking along.
I am very proud of all of my children. Beth is growing into an independent and thoughtful young lady, Tom is sensitive to others and so kind, even though his head is in the clouds a lot of the time and baby Zachary is growing into a fun, robust little character under the watchful eyes of his older, generally quite responsible brother and sister.
And we all have Polly to look after us, whose toe is fine, she had some tar stuck to her pad but its gone now and is all ok.
xxx
Joanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-83290743402190230312013-06-19T04:30:00.000-07:002013-06-19T04:30:01.125-07:00A LevelsSo we have finally come to the end of exam period.
We now will need to live through, and support through, several weeks of waiting for results day and the "do we get the university post or not?" answer.
It has been a stressful time for Beth, my beautiful daughter, she has slogged her guts out and we are so proud of her, whatever the out come. She is worried, it was hard and the papers were not kind, but she is pro active, she has NVQ's in beauty she is also working on and is now a Body Shop At Home consultant. She has her fingers in many pies and I know she will succeed with whatever she decides to do. BUT.....If she doesn't get those grades I know she will cry. 2 years work and she's convinced herself she hasn't done well.
My job, convince her she can achieve anything she sets her mind to. Make sure she knows that university isn't the be all and end all, give her the confidence to go out into the world of adults and be strong, confident and brave and to be able to conquer her demons. But above all my job is to make sure she knows she is loved and supported, wherever life takes her.
Following is an article that I hope will prove useful to those of you who are going through the same.Joanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-47454355625639457132013-06-19T04:08:00.000-07:002013-06-19T04:08:38.012-07:00Beat Exam Stress
AT exam time you really want your mind to work for you, to help you absorb information, remember and work with it to provide great answers to the questions.
But for most students it is right at exam time that the mind fails them. It's called EXAM STRESS.
Exam stress is caused by worry around exams. You may worry that you don't enough, or that you won't link the information to the question, or that you won't achieve the results you need. But the biggest worry at exam time is the fear that you might "go blank".
Stress is not completely bad. You need some of it to make you productive. For example, imagine noticing that you have no food. That would cause you stress - and you would make a plan to find some. But constant stress is not good and doesn't work in your favour - especially when you need your mind to be sharp, focussed and on its best behaviour.
The good news is you can do a few things to keep exam stress at bay and ace your exams.
Right up front, the best way to beat stress is to know you are well prepared. If you have worked consistently and revised well, you will know that there is really no reason for you to worry. Exams are designed to reward consistent work and good preparation. Those who have not worked or prepared would probably have cause to be concerned, and so they will definitely stress on their way into the exam room - and that would worsen an already bad situation.
There is no replacement for academic discipline when it comes to succeeding with exams and staying calm through the process. Work consistently through the year, revise thoroughly, be organised with your preparation such as having a study timetable, get plenty of rest and eat well and you should be fine.
However, even the best students have experienced stress before exams. Sometimes the weight of expectation can be heavy. Your expectations of yourself, your family's expectations of you, the school's expectations and the need to do well in order to be accepted to the next level of study are enough to stress anyone.
There is also the self-confidence factor. You may wonder, "Am I good enough"? You may doubt your ability even though you have proven it to yourself many times before. You may even doubt whether you deserve academic success. A lack of self- confidence can be crippling. It will add to any stress you have as you prepare for exams.
So what can you do to conquer exam stress?
Let's assume you have done the required work this year to achieve academic success. To make sure stress doesn't mess up what you have worked so hard for, add a few more skills to your arsenal.
First, learn to relax. Your brain must be relaxed in order to function at its best, to take in information, recall it and work with it. So take time to "tune out", push the exams out of your mind and chill. Turn off the music and the cell phone, stay away from your television and your computer, don't get onto the social networks. All these things need your brain to work. You are trying to relax it - it needs time off.
Sit down in a comfortable place, close your eyes, think about nothing but your breathing, let any thoughts you have drift away, and give yourself five minutes of brain recovery time.
And try using visualisation. It is a powerful way of telling your subconscious mind to get with the programme and work with you. By visualising what you want, you give vivid instructions to your brain to find what you need to succeed. Most people who try this are surprised at just how well the brain guides you to where you have told it to take you. Spend some time with your eyes closed seeing your success. Imagine yourself in the exam room, calm and relaxed, feeling confident and answering the questions well. Imagine your goal, the results you want to achieve. See your report or your certificate showing the results you want. Allow yourself to feel the feelings you will have when you receive your results and you have done well. Perhaps even imagine yourself receiving an award, or telling your friends and family how well you have done. Bring all of your senses into the imagination exercise. See the exam room in your imagination. Smell the smells. Feel the certificate as you hold it and read your brilliant results. Hear the congratulations of your friends. And if there is anything appropriate to taste - go for it!
Affirmations are a great way to boost your confidence. It works well with people who lack confidence, but even the most confident students can use a bit more of it.
Take time to tell yourself how good you are. Yes, it will feel strange at first, and if you are naturally humble it could feel a bit uncomfortable. But you are a great person, so let yourself know that. Say things to yourself such as:
I deserve success
I easily understand what I am studying
I can recall information clearly
I am a successful student.
Does it matter if you believe the statements to be true? No. Keep reminding your brain about them, and they will become true. Say the affirmations out loud to yourself as if you really, really believe them (don't do this in the exam room!), repeat each one of them five or six times before moving on to the next, and don't judge them, just accept them. Create your own affirmations, and enjoy using them.
Be careful not to allow negative thoughts in when you are doing your relaxing, visualizations or affirmations. In fact don't ever allow negative thoughts in at any time. Your brain will take you wherever you want to go - to failure just as easily as to success. If you keep telling yourself you can't study, if you keep thinking you are going to fail, if you imagine yourself panicking in the exam room - your brain will take you right there.
Some exam stress is inevitable. But you can control it. If you are well prepared, have allowed your brain time to relax, spent time imagining your success and have affirmed yourself as a good student, you will have no reason to stress at all.
Jonathan Payne is a Hypnotherapist and Mind Management specialist based in Durban, South Africa. He works extensively with stress related conditions as well as assisting clients to overcome limitations by understanding where their minds are tripping them up. He teaches relaxation and centering techniques to help clients focus, get motivated, find purpose and succeed. He is available for talks and seminars to assist organisations with stress, motivation, focus and productivity.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jonathan_Payne
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7339943Joanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-88998440540653968202011-03-08T10:08:00.000-08:002011-03-08T10:11:33.332-08:00Acivities For All The Family<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/d2y5L7vd4Iw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Joanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-64381974653089461182011-03-08T09:28:00.000-08:002011-03-08T09:31:11.318-08:00Teenage Dating - How Should Parents Respond When Teens Begin Dating?This is a topic which can raise strong emotions in parents which is completely normal. It is scary to think of your son or daughter starting to date. Of course, our minds often go to the worst case scenarios - they will date someone who is no good, they will start having sex, they will get pregnant, they will shut me out completely as a parent. All of these are obviously legitimate fears, however, most teenage dating does not go this way.<br /><br />There is no "best" age at which teens should begin dating and there is no "best" way for a parent to support their teenager as they enter into the dating stage. However, there are a few tips to remember which may be of help. First, it is important to remember that generally girls mature faster than boys and therefore teenage girls generally become interested in dating at a younger age than do boys. This also means that often times, teenage girls may date boys who are older than them (note that I said "boys" and not "men"). Second, it is important to remember that dating is a new, exciting and sometimes heartbreaking experience for teenagers. Being open to the process, not overly critical of your child's choice of a boyfriend or girlfriend (unless of course you believe they will cause your teen harm), and supporting them is important so that they are more likely to come to you if they have questions or concerns related to dating. Finally, remember that your teen will likely have many boyfriends or girlfriends and that is okay and normal. During the teenage years they are not picking out their lifelong mate - they are just looking to get to know someone on a new level and engage in a relationship which is emotionally (and sometimes physically) intimate. The dating process will help them discover what it means to be in a more intimate relationship which will benefit them when the time comes to actually look for someone with whom they may be in a long term committed relationship.<br /><br />One concern I have heard voiced by parents of teens who are beginning to date is how much freedom they should give their teenager and should they allow their teenager and their boyfriend / girlfriend to ever be alone. Both questions are tricky and somewhat specific to each family's situation. Some things to keep in mind when making this decision in your situation are:<br /><br />- Is my teenager generally responsible?<br />- Does my teenager generally make healthy decisions?<br />- Do I know at least a little about my teen's boyfriend or girlfriend?<br />- Do I think my teenager will let me know if something is wrong?<br />- Does my teenager generally have good boundaries and decent self esteem?<br />- What parameters can I put in place to allow my teen a little freedom which can gradually increase as we feel this situation out further?<br /><br />If your teenager is generally trustworthy with decent self esteem, they will likely be okay with a little freedom. However, if your teenager is generally not where they are supposed to be or does not come in when they are supposed to - it is likely that they will continue with the same pattern when out with their boyfriend / girlfriend. Particularly with teenage girls, self esteem can play an important role in dating behavior. Girls who have very low self esteem are at risk to be taken advantage of by males. They are generally in a position where they just want to feel good about themselves and connect with others and often will let others take advantage of them in an effort to get this connection. Allowing themselves to be used by others can be a devastating experience for teens so it is important, as a parent, to be aware of such situations.<br /><br />In general, it is ideal for you as the parent to know the people your teen chooses to date without being overly critical of them. Invite them to the house for dinner, allow them to hang out with your teen and watch movies, play video games, listen to music, etc. as a means of getting to know them without being overbearing and overprotective.<br /><br />Okay...now for the toughest of them all...what about sex? We all know of situations where teens in high school and sometimes even middle school become pregnant and this is one of a parent's biggest fears. The reality is that there is no way for a parent to stop their child from having sex - if they really want to do it, they will find a way to do it. However, it is possible for a parent to have a thoughtful discussion with their teenager about having sex and to attempt to put some parameters around their dating relationship which may help them see there are other things they can be doing within their dating relationship. For starters, it is always best if parents can have an open conversation about sex with their children. It allows children to see that their parents are not living in the dark ages and that they are not so uncomfortable by the subject that they cannot even talk about it. In addition, it opens the door so that should an issue come up with your teen related to sex, they may be more willing to come to you rather than try to hide it. In addition, giving your teen ideas about how they might want to spend their time while out with their boyfriend / girlfriend can be helpful so that their time is more structured. This helps them to see that they can have fun doing various activities with their boyfriend / girlfriend and that the relationship does not need to be built around physical intimacy.<br /><br />There are not clear guidelines for teen dating and there are no clear cut answers for how to help your teen navigate the process smoothly and safely. The above suggestions and tips can help calm the waters, however, it is inevitable there will be some waves during the teenage dating years since this experience can be both very exciting and painful for teenagers.<br /><br />For more information on Life Coaching or coaching for parents please visit http://elite-life-coaching.com or email Karen@elite-life-coahing.com<br /><br />My name is Karen Vincent. I am a Certified Life Coach as well as a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker with a Masters Degree from Boston University. I have worked with teenagers / adolescents and their parents for the last 15 years in a variety of settings, including outpatient therapy, specialized schools, and in the home.<br /><br />I have developed and conducted numerous parenting classes and support workshops specific to parents of teens. I have also created and presented training for professional staff including teachers, therapists and counselors who work with adolescents in Massachusetts, Connecticut and in New York City.<br /><br />In my work, I partner with parents (usually through phone calls) who are experiencing difficulties in connecting with their teenage children and who are struggling to manage social, emotional or behavioral issues which arise during the teenage years. Through working with me, parents are able to:<br /><br />• work through any self doubt they are having about their parenting<br />• develop action plans for addressing their areas of concern<br />• develop new ways of parenting their teens effectively <br />• discover new ways of connecting effectively with their teens <br />• eliminate sleepless nights and worries while Restoring Peace of Mind During the Teenage Years<br /><br />Please call for a free Coaching Consultation: 774-245-7775<br /><br />Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Karen_VincentJoanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-79848153125704703862011-02-18T03:49:00.000-08:002011-02-18T03:51:25.578-08:00Teenage Parenting - Heard of Imaginary Audience & Personal Fable?Your child is now a teenager and you wonder why the child you have is so different from what he or she used to be. Teenager is in a transition stage and may display cognitive, emotional and attitudinal changes. These changes sometimes become the source of conflicts for parent and teenagers. So, it is important for parents to understand these developmental changes in teenager and how it affects them.<br /><br />Here, I would like to discuss two factors that may influence teenager's development, i.e. Imaginary Audience and Personal Fable.<br /><br />Teenagers' greater self-reflective capacity causes them to become overly conscious. They imagine themselves as always on stage, as the center of everyone else's attention and concern. This is known as imaginary audience. This concept has helped me to understand why my teenager had, at times, alienated herself from her siblings in the train as she felt that her brothers and sisters were too noisy and may attract unwanted stares. She felt embarrassed by their behavior and so preferred to stand far away from them. To help her to deal with the situation, I suggested that she observed the situation and in the train and asked her to take note of how many people were staring at her siblings when they were in the train. She soon realized that it was her being sensitive as her siblings were neither too noisy nor were they attracting unnecessary attention. Over time, she has managed to get over this and has become less sensitive. With the understanding of this concept, it is important to realize that parents should never say negative things or criticize the teenager in public; it must be done in private and definitely not in the ear shot of their younger siblings.<br /><br />The other factor is Personal Fable. This means that the teenagers' self-focusing leads them to develop an exaggerated view of their own importance. They regard their own thoughts and feelings as special and unique. They also believe that they are invulnerable to dangers all others faces. This could explain why teenagers engage in casual sex, dangerous driving or other risk taking behavior as they would think that the bad consequences may happen to others but would not happen to them. As parents, we would need to help them to deal with this false sense of security by showing them examples or evidence of teenagers getting into trouble, perhaps using newspaper articles or incidents that happened to people that the teenagers know.<br /><br />These two factors could at times be the source of conflict between parents and teens. With this understanding in mind, parents would be able to help their teen copes with these developmental changes better and in the process, develop a better relationship with their teens.<br /><br />For more information on teenage parenting, visit www.parenting4workingmother.com [http://www.parenting4workingmother.com]<br /><br />Sandra Chong is a Career & Life Coach. Her passion lies in empowering individuals to ENJOY WORK & LIFE NOW! As a full time working mother with four children, she believes in creating opportunities for her children to learn to take responsibility for their lives and at the same time helping them to identify their unique talents so that they can live life to the fullest!Joanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-52741010229903974942010-12-06T05:10:00.000-08:002010-12-06T05:11:41.916-08:00Great Ways For Teenagers and Kids to Make MoneyAs a kid you were probably content with a bit of money or small treats from the local shops now you have grown up there are many other things you need. You know your parents are not going to buy everything you want so you would like to find a way to start earning cash yourself. You will find numerous ways for teenagers and kids to make money and hopefully this article will help.<br /><br />Child Minding <br /><br />This is the most simple idea for you to begin making money, you can begin by offering to babysit the children of family. If you are good at Babysitting then word of mouth will spread and you will more than likely have more people seeking your services.<br /><br />Kid's Party Help<br /><br />A lot of parents will choose to have children's birthday parties at home in order to reduce the costs and most will do the catering at home, with so many things to think about they will quite often want help. You could make money by learning who in your area is planning a children's party and offer your assistance.<br /><br />Party Entertainer<br /><br />Party entertainment can cost a a huge amount of money but it is found at almost all kid's parties. A great idea for teenagers to make extra money is by giving the parents a less expensive option. Kid's love having face paints, get patterns online and have fun! You could also offer to do do fake tattoos.<br /><br />Home Cleaning<br /><br />House work is a pain, very few people actually want to do it, but it needs to be done. For older people and those with children it is a never ending chore. A lot of people will be very happy for more help with all of the chores. As with any of the ideas for teenagers and kid's to make money this one is another that will earn you extra work as more people are told about it.<br /><br />There are many more ways for kid's and teenagers to make money both online and offline, visit MyMakingMoneyIdeas.com to find out more Ways for Teenagers and Kids to Make Money.<br /><br />Pam Halligan-Sims<br /><br />Visit Ways for kids to Make Money and find out how to earn more.Joanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-74288625638079628512010-12-03T03:38:00.000-08:002010-12-03T03:41:48.693-08:00How to Deal With Teenage Breakups - What Parents Can Do to HelpOne thing that parents of teens always seem to struggle with is how to deal with teenage breakups. There is a great deal of drama and emotion involved in these breakups that your teen is completely unprepared, on an emotional level, to deal with. It's import to keep a few things in mind and take a step back in time yourself in order to properly help your teen get through this trying time.<br /><br />How to Deal with Teenage Breakups<br /><br />1) Be patient. Sit back and watch things unfold. Offer your support and a shoulder for your teen to lean on but stand back in the shadows and try not to go out and snap the neck of the person who broke your teen's heart. You never know, they may end up back together again.<br /><br />2) Be supportive. Listen to what your teen has to say and offer a sympathetic ear. Whatever you do, do not dismiss the emotions as temporary or somehow unimportant. To a teen tasting heartbreak for the first time is monumental. It would be detrimental to your relationship and the speed of recovery to minimize the impact this moment is having on the life of your teen. The best you can do is offer them comfort in the fact that you too were once a heartbroken teen and that in time the feelings will be less intense.<br /><br />3) Distract your distraught teen. One of the best methods how to deal with teenage breakups when you're the parent is to keep your teen distracted by other things. Go out and do something fun together that will take your teen's mind of his or her current heartache.<br /><br />4) Give your teens the tools he or she will need to get back together with the person that has broken his or her heart. You'll be surprised how much a little bit of hope can do for your teen. It will also help you enjoy some quality bonding time together while you work on ways to mend the differences your teen is experiencing with the former (and hopefully future) love of his or her life.<br /><br />Instead of wondering how to deal with teenage breakups it may be a better plan to see what you can do to help your teen get back together with his or her ex. You will find excellent "get your ex back" guides online if you know where to look. When you are ready, watch this free video: http://www.getyourexbacknow.com/just_break_up3.html to get started mending broken hearts today.Joanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-22748278322433317602010-03-17T04:58:00.000-07:002010-03-17T05:05:25.832-07:00How to Help Your Teen Get a JobTeens are so aggressive. They want things done right away. Especially, when they want to earn for themselves.They always feel excited about a new endeavor they are getting into. And that's a good sign. Helping them out to find the right job for them encourages them more to be responsible.<br /><br />Help them out with these tips:<br /><br /><br />Find out what they really want to do first. <br />Find out if the place he wants to work is safe <br />Find someone who could refer your kid. <br />Give him some tips on how to answer, in an interview <br />Be with him to give him moral support on his interview <br />If he is turned down, encourage him and help him to get up and go for another one.<br /><br />Job hunting is a fun game, especially when the whole family is behind you. Support your kid in every way because it builds up the confidence in them. Instead of being bored doing nothing, a job will do them good. It will take them away from wrong people and away from vices.<br /><br />The compensation doesn't really matter to them. Most teens would just be happy that they have a job. Whether he comes from a rich family or not, he needs to experience working.<br /><br />There is no problem for a rich kid to get a job especially when they have their own family business. In case they don't have, he can still be referred to a family friend without any problem.<br /><br />Be very happy when your kid would like to find a job. It is a break for both of you!<br /><br />Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Glorietta_AtienzaJoanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-31893955043267997982010-03-17T04:44:00.000-07:002010-03-17T04:47:26.538-07:00Understanding Why Teens Self-Harm Or "Cut"There are those in the world who suffer from an impulsive need to cut themselves. This is not a suicide attempt. This behavior is a form of coping. The Mayo Clinic describes this behavior as repetitive and impulsive, where something upsetting triggers the action, though self harm can also be planned, controlled and methodical. This behavior is the way this individual has learned to deal with the stress in their life. Self harm also includes picking at scabs or interfering with healing wounds, hitting oneself, burning, hair pulling, and other forms of self harm. It is a compulsive disorder. Cutters feel compelled to self mutilate with a sense as though there are no other options. People who self harm are in sensory overload, and can't deal with the amount of pain they feel inside so they have reached a state of empathy and numbness and they need to cut to feel anything. The cutting leads to endorphins being released as a natural pain killer in the body and these endorphins can cause addiction over time.<br /><br />According to HelpGuide.org there are 2 million people in the United States who are self injurers. The typical person who injures themselves is, according to the MHA of NC, from an upper middle class family, average to high intelligence, but low self esteem. 50% were sexually or physically abused, and as high as 90%were forbidden to express emotions like anger or sadness. Those who hurt themselves may abuse drugs, or alcohol, or also have an eating disorder.<br /><br />There is also a growing belief that women and men may both be equally guilty of hurting themselves, but males explain the injury as the result of some believable life event and thus hide their problem. The reasons why one hurts oneself are the same. Low self esteem, empathy, numbness, stress, and to cope one cuts and the sensation is addicting. The one distinction between the sexes is that females will often say they hurt themselves out of a need for self punishment. Males have a greater chance of killing themselves due to the method of self harm they chose. Both have a chance of taking the injuries too far. They need help, not rejection. Also there is some peer pressure involved with self harm. One person doing it may pressure others to as well.<br /><br />Treatment for cutting must be tailored to the individual. If one suffers from depression, some medication may help to increase serotonin levels (natural pain killer) to reduce self harm. Psychotherapy or talk therapy can help with the underlying issues as well as teaching how to cope with stress and boost self esteem. Often the underlying problem is having strong emotions that are capped and blocked and they need to be released in a healthy fashion. Let the person open up about self-injury. Let them know those around them care. Encourage the individual to express their emotions, including anger. Do enjoyable activities together. Don't make judgments and don't tell the cutter to stop, because these actions would cause the cutter to feel worthless or powerless. A cutter to cope with the self injurious behavior needs to recognize the problem themselves, and realize it is not an indication they are a bad person. Get professional help, someone to trust. Find out what triggers the behavior and realize it is a means to ease stress and find other means to achieve this end that don't involve self injury. Avoid web sites that seem to glamorize self harm. There is a way to take back control.<br /><br />Chy King, M.Ed. is the owner of The Sober Sources Network and has extended her network on alcoholism, addiction and mental health recovery for both adults and teens. You may view one of the live forums at The Sober Village to see recovery in action. Visit SoberTeensOnline.com for teen support or visit our portfolio of resources at SoberSources.com.<br /><br />Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chy_KingJoanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-5791097754113195702010-03-11T05:45:00.000-08:002010-03-11T05:49:00.174-08:00Teenage Dating - How Should Parents Respond When Teens Begin Dating?This is a topic which can raise strong emotions in parents which is completely normal. It is scary to think of your son or daughter starting to date. Of course, our minds often go to the worst case scenarios - they will date someone who is no good, they will start having sex, they will get pregnant, they will shut me out completely as a parent. All of these are obviously legitimate fears, however, most teenage dating does not go this way.<br /><br />There is no "best" age at which teens should begin dating and there is no "best" way for a parent to support their teenager as they enter into the dating stage. However, there are a few tips to remember which may be of help. First, it is important to remember that generally girls mature faster than boys and therefore teenage girls generally become interested in dating at a younger age than do boys. This also means that often times, teenage girls may date boys who are older than them (note that I said "boys" and not "men"). Second, it is important to remember that dating is a new, exciting and sometimes heartbreaking experience for teenagers. Being open to the process, not overly critical of your child's choice of a boyfriend or girlfriend (unless of course you believe they will cause your teen harm), and supporting them is important so that they are more likely to come to you if they have questions or concerns related to dating. Finally, remember that your teen will likely have many boyfriends or girlfriends and that is okay and normal. During the teenage years they are not picking out their lifelong mate - they are just looking to get to know someone on a new level and engage in a relationship which is emotionally (and sometimes physically) intimate. The dating process will help them discover what it means to be in a more intimate relationship which will benefit them when the time comes to actually look for someone with whom they may be in a long term committed relationship.<br /><br />One concern I have heard voiced by parents of teens who are beginning to date is how much freedom they should give their teenager and should they allow their teenager and their boyfriend / girlfriend to ever be alone. Both questions are tricky and somewhat specific to each family's situation. Some things to keep in mind when making this decision in your situation are:<br /><br />- Is my teenager generally responsible? <br />- Does my teenager generally make healthy decisions? <br />- Do I know at least a little about my teen's boyfriend or girlfriend? <br />- Do I think my teenager will let me know if something is wrong? <br />- Does my teenager generally have good boundaries and decent self esteem? <br />- What parameters can I put in place to allow my teen a little freedom which can gradually increase as we feel this situation out further?<br /><br />If your teenager is generally trustworthy with decent self esteem, they will likely be okay with a little freedom. However, if your teenager is generally not where they are supposed to be or does not come in when they are supposed to - it is likely that they will continue with the same pattern when out with their boyfriend / girlfriend. Particularly with teenage girls, self esteem can play an important role in dating behavior. Girls who have very low self esteem are at risk to be taken advantage of by males. They are generally in a position where they just want to feel good about themselves and connect with others and often will let others take advantage of them in an effort to get this connection. Allowing themselves to be used by others can be a devastating experience for teens so it is important, as a parent, to be aware of such situations.<br /><br />In general, it is ideal for you as the parent to know the people your teen chooses to date without being overly critical of them. Invite them to the house for dinner, allow them to hang out with your teen and watch movies, play video games, listen to music, etc. as a means of getting to know them without being overbearing and overprotective.<br /><br />Okay...now for the toughest of them all...what about sex? We all know of situations where teens in high school and sometimes even middle school become pregnant and this is one of a parent's biggest fears. The reality is that there is no way for a parent to stop their child from having sex - if they really want to do it, they will find a way to do it. However, it is possible for a parent to have a thoughtful discussion with their teenager about having sex and to attempt to put some parameters around their dating relationship which may help them see there are other things they can be doing within their dating relationship. For starters, it is always best if parents can have an open conversation about sex with their children. It allows children to see that their parents are not living in the dark ages and that they are not so uncomfortable by the subject that they cannot even talk about it. In addition, it opens the door so that should an issue come up with your teen related to sex, they may be more willing to come to you rather than try to hide it. In addition, giving your teen ideas about how they might want to spend their time while out with their boyfriend / girlfriend can be helpful so that their time is more structured. This helps them to see that they can have fun doing various activities with their boyfriend / girlfriend and that the relationship does not need to be built around physical intimacy.<br /><br />There are not clear guidelines for teen dating and there are no clear cut answers for how to help your teen navigate the process smoothly and safely. The above suggestions and tips can help calm the waters, however, it is inevitable there will be some waves during the teenage dating years since this experience can be both very exciting and painful for teenagers.<br /><br />For more information on Life Coaching or coaching for parents please visit http://elite-life-coaching.com or email Karen@elite-life-coahing.com<br /><br />My name is Karen Vincent. I am a Certified Life Coach as well as a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker with a Masters Degree from Boston University. I have worked with teenagers / adolescents and their parents for the last 15 years in a variety of settings, including outpatient therapy, specialized schools, and in the home.<br /><br />I have developed and conducted numerous parenting classes and support workshops specific to parents of teens. I have also created and presented training for professional staff including teachers, therapists and counselors who work with adolescents in Massachusetts, Connecticut and in New York City.<br /><br />In my work, I partner with parents (usually through phone calls) who are experiencing difficulties in connecting with their teenage children and who are struggling to manage social, emotional or behavioral issues which arise during the teenage years. Through working with me, parents are able to:<br /><br />• work through any self doubt they are having about their parenting<br />• develop action plans for addressing their areas of concern<br />• develop new ways of parenting their teens effectively <br />• discover new ways of connecting effectively with their teens <br />• eliminate sleepless nights and worries while Restoring Peace of Mind During the Teenage Years<br /><br />Please call for a free Coaching Consultation: 508-261-7087<br /><br />Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Karen_VincentJoanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-49194828461717267272010-03-01T05:19:00.000-08:002010-03-01T05:21:56.373-08:00Relationship Help - Teenagers and Relationship IssuesTeenagers have a lot of relationship issues. Why? Because they are discovering the power of love for the first time. And this power is very overwhelming. I have a 16 year old son myself, and I get to see first hand how crazy this can get. But he handles his relationships very well, and I have a few ideas why.<br /><br />One of the questions I get the most from teenagers is "Why does my boyfriend lie to me so much?" Children lie for the same reasons adults do. Because they are afraid to tell the truth. Lying is an easy way to avoid the consequences of certain acts. The more assurance you give your child that it's OK to talk to you about anything, the less they need to lie. And you have to practice what you preach. Parents often tell their children to share what's going on in their lives, just to freak out when they hear something the parent doesn't like or can't relate to. Do this a couple of times, and the child will find it easier to lie than to upset the parent. Another reason for lying is that the child is not comfortable being who they are. They will lie to their friends to make themselves look more important. Building your child's self esteem early on will reduce the need to pretend to be someone else.<br /><br />How teenagers handle relationships with others is directly related to how they view themselves. The more self respect the child has, the more respect he will give to others. Self respect in a child is developed by the parent...no one else. Teaching children that they are important, unique, powerful and special will give them the confidence to handle almost any situation, especially difficult ones like relationships. As adults, we have been through so many relationships and difficult situations, that we can easily forget how disorienting love can be. We don't have to fully understand what our child is going through, we just have to arm them with the tools to handle it. What they learn now will carry them through a lifetime of relationship situations.<br /><br />Children also learn from what they see. TV, movies, songs and the media have an effect on how children behave, but none more so than what the parents do. Trying to cover up your relationship problems will teach your child that it's OK to lie. Making them aware of the mistakes you make creates a bond. They appreciate the idea that you think of them as equals and sharing your mistakes with them shows that you trust them and want them to learn from you...and they will do just that. Hiding things from your child will create distrust. If they are 5 years old, that's one thing. But if you think your 13 year old is too stupid to notice what's going on, you're making a big mistake. Children already have the adult they are going to be locked away inside them...just waiting to blossom. Treat them with respect. After all, you are the one who has made the mistakes. They might be able to teach you a thing or two.<br /><br />How do you create an everlasting quality for your relationship today?<br /><br />For nearly 20 years one man, Colin Martin, has searched for and found the number one secret to building an exceptional romantic relationship. The answer doesn't lie in the endless volumes of self help books and repetitive talk shows...but within yourself!<br /><br />Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Colin_MartinJoanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-32371902338892668412009-12-21T08:31:00.000-08:002009-12-21T08:34:38.932-08:00Change Your Daughter's Body Image by Changing Your OwnHow often have you mentioned that you'd like to shed a few pounds? Especially during this holiday season where parties, hors d'ouvres and special treats abound - how many times have you said, "I'd better not have another cookie" or had one and mentioned what it'll probably do to your less-than-desirable waistline?<br /><br />I don't consider myself to be overweight, but there have been times when I've mentioned the probable effects of one too many scoops of ice cream on my thighs. Or how I wouldn't mind fitting in some of my college-era jeans again. Yes, I've said it, and perhaps my daughter was listening. But what effect does it have? According to a book by author Dara Chadwick, plenty.<br /><br />"You'd Be So Pretty If...: Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies - Even When We Don't Love Our Own" is Chadwick's book about how a mother's ideas about her own body can seriously effect a daughter's image of her own. The former Shape magazine columnist uses her own experiences growing up and other girls she interviewed to form the basis of her book, which starts out:<br /><br />"I grew up listening to my mom bemoan everything from the size of her thighs to the shape of her eyes. So you can imagine my dismay the first time someone exclaimed, 'You look just like your mother!'<br /><br />I don't really remember my own mother making any negative comments about her own body. However, I do remember her going on a diet of sorts. And going tanning. And using wrinkle cream (sorry, mom, but it's true!) So I guess I might have grown up with the sense that I needed to be rigorous in keeping up my appearance. That lines and spots and grays and a little extra bulges that come with aging should be combated and thwarted for as long as possible. There are probably whole courses taught at universities about how to market this anti-agism to promote beauty products. But the media's impact on girls' image of themselves is a whole other matter. Besides, they say the voice that has the biggest impact on one's developing body image is a mother's.<br /><br />As Chadwick's site states, the book is really a how-to guide on "breaking the mother-daughter cycle of bad body image." That if you have been making negative statements about yourself, that it's important to change the conversation you have about body image with your daughter, even if your image of your own body is far from perfect. Despite what peers or the media says about a woman's body, what you say could be the most important opinion for your daughter to hear; the one that makes the deepest and longest-lasting impression. Her book is available at many independent booksellers, Borders and Amazon.com.<br /><br />Erin Boudreau is the founder of http://www.gis4girl.com, and online retailer of positive and inspiring clothes for girls.<br /><br />Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Erin_BoudreauJoanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-84126775645489155942009-12-11T03:18:00.000-08:002009-12-11T03:22:28.481-08:00Practical Advice for Parenting Teenagers<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_pWDbMJ4CjYs/SyIrRioFWOI/AAAAAAAAABE/GZVhDuQlepc/s1600-h/0029-0806-1212-0754_royalty-free_cartoon_clip_art_of_a_happy_family_of_four_with_a_dog_and_a_soccer_ball.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_pWDbMJ4CjYs/SyIrRioFWOI/AAAAAAAAABE/GZVhDuQlepc/s320/0029-0806-1212-0754_royalty-free_cartoon_clip_art_of_a_happy_family_of_four_with_a_dog_and_a_soccer_ball.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5413937282405456098" /></a><br />Parenting teenagers is full of extremes. There are great joys while parenting teenagers and also great disappointments. The teen years are a time when the child is slowly separating themselves from their parent's tight hold and parents need to realize this. Each child needs to gradually be weaned off the total parental control into a world of adulthood. This can be a difficult experience but also an exciting one. As a parent, one has been working to prepare his child for adulthood and now the goal is about to be achieved. A parent needs to celebrate the teenagers step towards independence while continuing to provide a safety net. <br /><br />Preparing for Parenting a Teenager<br /><br />As a child begins to celebrate double digit birthdays the parent must begin preparing for parenting a teenager. One thing that can help to make the future easier is to find interests for the child to be involved in. Some children are very sports motivated; being involved in team sports is a great experience for the teenager and will help to keep the child involved in wholesome activities. The parent needs to be involved with this area of the child's life. Attending the games and showing interest will be very important. <br /><br />Another great thing for the child to get involved in is a church youth group. Teenagers will have questions regarding their spiritual life. Having a well founded spiritual leader and group outside the home will help both the parent and the teenager throughout the teen years. There are other appropriate activities for the teen years. These include scouting, choir, band, dance, gymnastics, fishing, camping and many other activities. Parents need to get involved with their child in some activity before the teen years begin. This will keep the teenager involved in good activities as they begin to pull away from the parents. <br /><br />A Team Approach to Parenting Teenagers<br /><br />In a two parent family it will be important for the parents to be united in their approach to parenting a teenager. Parents need to plan and discuss the expectations for the teenager. Even if there are areas of disagreement between the parents, the teenager needs to see a united front. If the teenager see the parents in open disagreement this may cause confusion and rebellion. Parents need to work together for the benefit of the teenager. <br /><br />If the parents are separated or divorced, differences need to be put aside for the benefit of the child. The world offers too many options for teenagers today. The parents must be united in the morals, values, and attitudes they want the teenager to uphold. Most teenagers will still rebel somewhat but this can prevent major rebellion. If the home is a single parent home, without the support of a second parent, the single parent should seek the support of a grandparent or other relative or friend. It is good to have someone supporting the very important decisions which need to be made while parenting a teenager. <br /><br />Source: Free ArticlesJoanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-34397413184346253642009-12-11T02:50:00.000-08:002009-12-11T02:59:36.007-08:00Gift Ideas for TeenagersIf you've ever tried to buy gifts for teenagers, you've probably run into a common problem: Teenagers are hard to buy for!<br /><br />Buying gifts for teenagers is difficult. Each one has their own tastes and style, and some are influenced by popular culture while others aren't. So the first step in figuring out what kind of gifts to buy for teenagers, is to find out a bit about the teenager. If that fails though, here are 5 gift ideas that tend to go over well with almost any of them.<br /><br />1. MP3 Player - Music players are popular. And they're useful too. Now some teenagers might turn their nose up at any MP3 player that isn't an iPod, but many others would be thrilled to have one if they don't yet already.<br /><br />Try finding one that gets radio broadcasts in addition to playing MP3s, that way they'll have some variety when they're tired of listening to the same songs over and over. Also try getting an MP3 player that doesn't require extra cords. Those could be lost in a teenager's room. Many MP3 players are made to simply plug into a USB port, and those seem to be the most convenient.<br /><br />2. Sunglasses - While this might seem a bit cliche or obvious to some, sunglasses are always popular. They're still considered "cool" and with the wide variety of styles these days... one is sure to be a hit with either boys or girls.<br /><br />3. Wallet/Purse - Another someone obvious gift idea that's often overlooked. Teenagers are starting to carry money, personal papers and misc other things. They may have wallets and/or purses already, but they may not have great quality or the style they want. So try a nice leather wallet gift for boy's, and maybe a designer purse for a girl.<br /><br />4. Games - This is a very broad gift idea, and the type of game you get will depend quite a bit on the teenager you're buying for. Most teenagers love computer games. Some also adore strategic board games though, and many like card games too. The card games we're talking about for teenagers might not be the kind adults think of though. Many teenager like card games that involve collectible cards. Magic and Yu-Gi-Oh are two examples of popular strategic card games which involve collectible cards.<br /><br />5. Cell Phone/Top Up Card - Some teenagers have cell phones already, but many still don't. Their parents either don't want, or can't afford to have a two year phone contract. And teenagers talk. Alot. Thus having regular cell phones can create outrageous bills due to time limit restrictions on regular cell phones.<br /><br />An excellent alternative - and a gift any teenager will adore you for - is to buy them a pre-paid cell phone. And if they already have one of those, the gift idea becomes extremely easy: Just buy them a "top up" card! The top up cards allow them to add minutes to their pre-paid phone, and can be bought at most major stores for as little as $20. <br /><br />Source: Free ArticlesJoanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-25291747967860584532009-12-07T07:37:00.000-08:002009-12-07T07:40:30.753-08:00Is Teenage Smoking On The Rise - Why Is It Harder For Teens To Quit Smoking?When I last visited our local shopping centre I could not believe the number of teenage smokers. I'm sure some of them were no older than twelve. Where are we going wrong with our youth?<br /><br />There has always been peer group pressure with teenage smoking, they want to keep up with their friends and if its cool for their friends to be smoking then it's cool for them as well. And we can't ignore the fact that a lot of teenagers come from homes where at least one parent is a smoker. It gives them a feeling of being older than their years, it kind of empowers them, but unfortunately, not always in a good way. Teenage smokers are often more aggressive and disrespectful to others, particularly older people. In some cases because it's considered a forbidden activity by teachers and parents, it becomes the forbidden fruit that they just have to try, satisfying the rebellious streak that's quite normal in many teenagers.<br /><br />There are huge amounts of money spent on anti smoking campaigns but even so it's still estimated that every minute thousands of teenagers will take there first puff on a cigarette. How many of those will become addicted, smoke for most of their life and become another health statistic. Whith the benefit of modern day media coverage, you would think that teenage smoking would be falling not increasing as the figures are currently showing. What do we have to do to make them see the light.<br /><br />There is no doubt that smoking with groups of friends has a social aspect to it, that was seen in the cigar bars and certain clubs, but thankfully has now lost it's attraction for most of the community. It was said it encouraged conversation and companionship, even the tea break at work was often referred to as the smoko break where smokers would do there best to finish a whole cigarette in the short time they had. But when you weigh up the social aspects against the health issues, it would seem obvious which should win out. But until we can get the message across in a better way, one that teenagers can identify with, then the battle for the health of our future adults is yet to be won.<br /><br />Teenager's smokers also have a unique problem should they decide they no longer want to smoke. The friends they hang out with who continue to smoke may ridicule and poke fun at them. This can be very difficult for teenagers as they are at stage in their lives where they need to be accepted but at the same time can also be emotionally sensitive. Parents need to keep this in mind when offering support and encouragement to their teens.<br /><br />Don't let your children's health be compromised, make sure they are fully informed of the health effects of smoking before they get hooked.<br /><br />You can find more free information on teenage smoking and it's effects by visiting http://www.quittingsmokingtips.com a very useful web site dedicated to helping smokers beat the habit.<br /><br />Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Graham_NicksJoanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-6404380447919369712009-12-07T07:27:00.000-08:002009-12-07T07:37:05.351-08:00How To Tell If Your Breath Stinks!!!<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/B6BbJ19-Joo&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/B6BbJ19-Joo&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>Joanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-72553944013907489462009-12-06T10:09:00.000-08:002009-12-06T10:11:33.197-08:00Tips for Parents of Teenagers: Don't Just Survive - Thrive!What makes parenting so challenging at times? One widespread research study reports that feeling “unprepared” tops the list for many parents’ causes of dissatisfaction. And parents of teenagers, in particular, may feel this acutely as so many changes converge at once: adolescents are changing in every conceivable way while they often push parents away in their search for individuality. That this often happens during parents’ own mid-life changes only adds to the poignancy of this period in a family’s life.<br /><br />So how can parents prepare for this dynamic journey? Here are some tips:<br /><br />Learn about adolescent development<br /><br />You probably read about babies before your first child was born. You had a pretty fair idea about developmental time frames – when he would see you in focus, when she would begin to crawl, etc. Adolescents are, in many ways, changing as dramatically as they were as small babies – and yet many parents don’t make the time to learn about what is happening developmentally to their teenager. Information and knowledge will shed light on this puzzle, and it will enhance your understanding and your ability to provide support.<br /><br />Here’s an example: Teenagers may look like adults, but they are not. Their brains are still under development, which causes them to be more impulsive, more spontaneous and developmentally not ready to foresee the consequences of their actions. Knowing this - and knowing that developmentally they are not ready for certain levels of responsibility- can help you better manage your expectations and your relationship.<br /><br />Put YOU into the equation<br /><br />The issues that really get intense for parents aren’t always about the teenager – sometimes, parental issues are at the heart of the situation, and adults need to be able to separate this out and view the situation objectively. Remember, you are changing and developing too, and redefining the nature of your relationship with your teenager can bring up issues for you. It is imperative that parents examine themselves, their behavior, objectives and beliefs in the context of their family dynamics.<br /><br />It is too easy to be habitual in our responses to children. Yet, you can see the growth and changes that are occurring with your teenagers – they are changing in dramatic ways. It stands to reason, then, that parents need to examine the rules, roles and relationships to make sure they’re adjusting for all this change. That requires self-examination.<br /><br />Talk to your peers<br /><br />Many parents find themselves feeling alone, and in their alone-ness they lose the ability to see the similarities in their experiences with those of other parents. There is so much you can gain by talking to other people in the same situation you are in. In sharing with others you gain additional perspective, and you are likely to see things in a new light. You may find others who have walked your road and who found other, or better, ways to address similar situations. Allow yourself to learn from them. Develop these friendships and make time to connect with them. Think of it as your own support network where “getting prepared” is one of the beneficial outcomes.<br /><br />Find the humor<br /><br />Have you ever noticed how humor can make tension instantly melt away? Some parents just tend to take things too seriously. Consciously look for the humor in situations because it allows you to create an environment of lightness and an attitude where communication is likely to be enhanced. Used appropriately, humor is a tool and a friend.<br /><br />Take care of yourself<br /><br />Sacrificing yourself to your children’s needs serves nobody – certainly not you, and it actually does a disservice to kids. They benefit from seeing parents as strong, fulfilled individuals who take good care of themselves, and you need nothing less if you are to thrive and grow.<br /><br />Dr. Laurence Steinberg in his book Crossing Paths; How Your Child’s Adolescence Triggers Your Own Crisis says that the parents who thrive during their child’s adolescence have genuine and fulfilling interests outside of their parenting role. There is room for family life and career or other outside interests, and those who thrive are people who have both in balance.<br /><br />Be open to learn from others.<br /><br />Every day parents are given opportunities to prepare and to learn to be better as parents. Yet many times adults squander the opportunities put in front of us. It’s easy to criticize how others handle situations with their teenagers, but if instead, you ask the question “what would I do in that situation?” you can create opportunities to prepare yourself for what you may face. Parents of teenagers are likely to find themselves in situations that are unpredictable. Sometimes kids do crazy things. But if you get in the habit of promoting open-mindedness, and of asking questions and getting facts before you react, you will behave in ways that don’t embarrass you during a time of crisis. Parents can develop their own strategies by asking themselves “what would I do?”<br /><br />Get involved in your child’s school life and social life <br />Some parents pull away from their kids during adolescence. Granted, this may seem like what your teen is asking for, but it’s not. The character of your involvement may change during this time, but by all means stay connected in meaningful ways. One big way is to know your child’s friends. This not only brings pleasure into your life, but it allows you to know more about your child, and from a different perspective.<br /><br />There’s a lot about this stage in a family’s life that can create pressure and challenges. Probably only a few escape without a scar or two. It is also a time that is ripe with opportunities for growth for parents - so don’t be left behind. There is opportunity for you to thrive as you grow, too.<br /><br />Sue Blaney <br />Copyright 2004<br /><br />Sue Blaney is the author of Please Stop the Rollercoaster! How Parents of Teenagers Can Smooth Out the Ride and Practical Tips for Parents of Young Teens; What You Can Do to Enhance Your Child’s Middle School Years. As a communications professional and the parent of two teenagers, she speaks frequently to parents and schools about parenting issues, improving communications and creating parent discussion groups. Visit our website at http://www.PleaseStoptheRollercoaster.com<br /><br />Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sue_BlaneyJoanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4092060673265595390.post-81119814032519923662009-12-03T05:10:00.000-08:002009-12-03T05:14:42.395-08:00Why Don't Children Use Their Imaginations Anymore & What to Do About ItIt wasn't too long ago that you would find children in the streets, yards, and sidewalks of neighborhoods pretending to be famous athletes, princesses, dinosaur hunters, moms playing house, or soldiers at war. Why is this not the case any longer? Unfortunately, the reality is that:<br /><br />- There is an increased emphasis on early academics<br /><br />- Physical and sexual predators have become far too common place<br /><br />- People generally have become less social and neighborly<br /><br />- After school programs consume too much of our children's time<br /><br />- TV, cell phones, internet, and video games certainly don't help<br /><br />- And there is an increased amount of constant supervision of children in urban environments<br /><br />It is widely known among Child Development professionals that 'creative play' is necessary to form the foundation of intellectual, emotional, social, physical, and creative abilities necessary as children grow and develop. While is it obvious that the mediums of TV, movies, and the internet can certainly be a source of much good and education, the reality is most people use them simply as 'baby-sitters' rather than constructive tools. And yet, despite the (limited) pros of such mediums, the 'creative play' element is still missing due to the fact that the majority of time spent in front of a TV, computer, or video game is idle, materialistic, uneducational, unproductive, non-interactive, and certainly immorally influencing.<br /><br />Thus, the question is - what can we as parents proactively do about this? Let me suggest a few helpful tips that if implemented and consistently acted upon over time, will result in the emotional, intellectual, physical, and social health of your child.<br /><br />- Resist the temptation to just turn on the TV when the children are acting up or full of energy. Learn how to appropriately convert the child's natural energy into 'creative play' rather than allowing the idle entertainment from the world to 'baby-sit.'<br /><br />- Participate in and be involved in your child's imaginative and creative play. If that means that you need to be the bad guy who gets caught, the prince who marries the princess, or the horse running in the field (living room), than do it.<br /><br />- Take them outside! Leave the room with the TV or video games and just go outside - children instinctively have an ability to use their imaginations to have fun - and it is usually outdoors that this ability is heightened.<br /><br />- Read to your children - and do it often! A child who learns to read and who is read to will not only be intellectually far better off, but will develop their creative abilities and not be as dependent upon the TV or video games to be entertained.<br /><br />- Play Games together as a family and with your children. Rather than turning on a movie or playing a video game - play games together. Learn to interact. Use the time to talk, laugh, and just have fun together. Ideally, play games that help a child develop their ability to use their imagination and be creative.<br /><br />- Be the example! It is important to have rules for how much/little a child can watch TV, but if Daddy/Mommy don't lead by example, it is extremely difficult to implement those rules. Translation - this may mean that Daddy/Mommy need to develop their ability of 'creative play' so that when they (or their kids) want to just turn on the TV, they all can work together on using their imagination, playing games, and having fun together.<br /><br />Being a good parent requires effort, sacrifice, patience, creativity, and even using your imagination and being immature at times. Providing food and shelter, education and entertainment, and clothing and toys... it isn't enough. What children desire and need most is attention, love, interaction, laughter, and time with parents who love them. Unfortunately, the majority of parents spend a huge portion of that time with children in front of the TV watching a show or a movie. Turning off the TV a little more should not only be done to increase the imaginations of our children, but more importantly, to strengthen relationships and bring families together to participate in fun and wholesome entertainment.<br /><br />Matt is the founder of http://www.Tips4Families.com/ - a website full of helpful parenting advice, fun games and activities, traditions and holiday ideas, and tips and articles for families everywhere. Matt is also the author of: "Great Games! 175 Games & Activities for Families, Groups, & Children." To view the book and learn more, visit: http://www.GreatGamesBook.com/<br /><br />Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Matthew_TooneJoanna Foxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04158941782719127952noreply@blogger.com0